Lost in the Dark

The first time Kal Mirage appeared amongst the group of KORT who were gathered near the gate in Camelot, his presence was barely acknowledged. A few of the knights who were familiar with him returned his sarcastic greeting with nods or brief responses. Although she didn't really know him, Joraina had seen Kal often at the Triboar Inn where she usually rested during her trips to and from the Darron Ranch near Longsaddle. He seemed quite out of place in Camelot, and she didn't realize at first that she was staring at him... until he smiled at her. To cover her rudeness, she greeted him briefly, then turned her gaze away, embarrassed. She tried to return her attention to the discussion going on amongst the knights, but she found herself staring after Kal Mirage as he walked away.

When Kal returned a short time later, Jo didn't glance at him at all. She was fully absorbed in listening to the conversation of the knights. When his voice cut through the pleasant chatter of her family, she was startled to realize how close he was... right behind her... she could feel his breath on the back of her neck.

"Don't worry, I only returned to pick up something I left behind," he declared. "I will be leaving post-haste."

As Kal finished speaking, Joraina felt herself swallowed by darkness. She was dizzy and confused, not understanding that Kal had surrounded her with his cloak... only knowing that she was completely blind and filled with an icy coldness. She screamed until she felt his breath near her ear as he whispered words she didn't understand. She was filled with terror, but unable to move or speak, frozen by an icy hand that seemed to grip her heart and soul. Fingers of ice seemed to spread within her until she could barely breathe and she collapsed into his arms.

She awakened in darkness with no idea where she was and immediately began to call for Aldrous and Ringil who had been standing right beside her... was that only moments ago? She wasn't sure how much time had passed. She was dizzy and nauseous. She could hear voices shouting in anger but she couldn't understand a word they were saying. She felt Kal's hand suddenly on the back of her neck, pulling her against him. His hands were warm and she felt strangely comforted by his touch. She heard him shout something strange... "You can have her ghost, I will take the real one." She shook her head and rubbed at her eyes but she was completely lost in darkness. She felt Kal's lips on her cheek for a moment and then she was unconcious again.

She awoke briefly several times with no idea where she was or how long they had been traveling. Kal carried her as if she were weightless. He was moving very quickly through the darkness but his breath had a calm effortless rhythm. Jo tried to match this rhythm with her own breathing, hoping to calm herself so she could focus her thoughts. But as her breathing and heartbeat molded to his, she felt herself slipping away... and she didn't care. The terror of the darkness left her and she fell asleep in his arms.

The next time she awakened she knew immediately where she was, even though she was still blinded. She could hear the creaking of old wood and smell the salt air. She was lying face down with her cheek pressed against cold damp wood. She knew she was on the Gallant Prince. She listened for some indication that Kal was still with her but she heard only the sounds of the abandoned harbor, the strains of the old ship and the eerie sound of the wind. She turned onto her back and stared sightlessly upward, too weak to stand. "I could call for help now," she thought. "I know where I am, I can tell them. They'll come for me." But she had no idea who "they" were. There were vague images of faces in her mind but only one name remained in her thoughts. She whispered it... "Kal?"

Her voice came out so low and weak that it was drowned by the wind. But he responded as if she had summoned him. Although she could not see him, she heard the thump of his knee on the wood as he knelt beside her. A moment later his arms were around her, warming her, and she was staring into his face.. actually seeing him. Her blindness had been lifted. He spoke to her in a low voice as he kissed her face, her neck, her shoulders... she couldn't understand anything that he was saying but his voice was soothing and hypnotic. Suddenly alarmed by her own lack of resistance, she struggled under him and turned her head away, screaming. As soon as she stopped looking at him, she was cast into the darkness again. The blindness was even more terrifying to her now that she could feel him all over her and through her. She felt as if he was gripping her soul in his hand and squeezing it. She weighed her fear of the dark against her fear of the man and reluctantly surrendered her gaze to the man. As soon as her eyes met his, she was able to see again. She was overwhelmed with relief, clinging to him as if he had rescued her, and sobbing against his chest.

She heard running footsteps and voices that seemed oddly familiar. Kal released her and got to his feet. As she tried to struggle up onto her knees, Jo realized that she was barely dressed, her cloak and boots were gone and the rest of her clothes hung in tatters. She clutched the rags about her, feeling hot and cold at once. Her face burned with fever while an icy hand still gripped her heart. She pressed her face against Kal's cold boot and sighed with relief as it cooled her flushed skin. She heard him chuckle and he nudged her gently with his boot while he argued with the two men who had appeared before them. She was blind again and could not see the men who had come to challenge Kal.

She could barely hear their voices. When Kal grabbed her and pulled her to her feet in front of him, she was vaguely aware that these two strangers were talking to her. Their words seeemed filled with beauty and love and she felt drawn to them. But when Kal held her close against him, everything else seemed to disappear. The two men calling her name and pleading with her to come to them only danced in and out of her awareness like shadows.

More footsteps, more voices. The Gallant Prince suddenly seemed alive with anger and mocking laughter. Joraina gazed around at all of them, her sight returning for a few seconds at a time, only to vanish again. She was confused but uncaring. Were there dark elves here? The strange language Kal had been whispering to her... was it Drow? She could speak a little Drow but had not recognized any of the words he had used. The dark ones questioned Kal about his motives and seemed amused when he responded with a shrug, "I was bored." Jo felt a flare of anger at his response. But instead of giving her strength, the anger seemed to open her soul even more to the icy darkness that fed on her. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus on the words of the others.

Who was the knight that stood with the others now? He seemed to know her. And each time he spoke, a little of the numbness lifted from her heart. She felt strangely compelled to go to him. Each time her sight returned for a few moments, she looked toward him, trying to remember exactly where he was standing so she could aim herself toward him. He was slowly moving closer to her as well, until he was able to cast bless upon the entire group gathered on the old ship.

Jo didn't know why, but Kal loosened his grip on her for a moment. Not just his physical grip on her body... she felt the hold he had on her heart slip for a moment as well. She threw herself in the direction of the knight and grabbed for his wrist. As soon as she touched him, memories flooded through her. Sir Vinman... Aldrous... Ringil. She knew their names again and she knew they were her family. A vision of Camelot filled her with a desire... to go home. She cried out to Sir Vinman as Kal jerked her back against his chest and held a dagger to her throat. She could still feel a little of the strength that the knight's touch had given her and she quickly cast bless on herself again.

Kal held her close for a moment, whispering in her ear, then he thrust her away so suddenly that she fell at Sir Vinman's feet. She felt as if something precious had been ripped away from her and she was torn by a desire to crawl back to Kal's feet. But she had no time to consider it before she was wrapped in a cloak and being carried away. One of Kal's dark friends called out to her as she was carried away. Although she was too tired and dazed to understand his words, they throbbed in her mind. Her breath and her heartbeat seemed to pulse in rhythm with his chant. She looked back toward Kal but Sir Vinman ordered her to look away as he rushed her away from the Gallant Prince and Kal Mirage. "She'll be back," someone called after them. "She will not return," Aldrous responded with confidence. Silently she prayed that she could live up to that promise because something dark and cold inside her was still craving Kal's touch.

Drifting in and out of conciousness she caught only pieces of the conversation that passed between Sir Vinman, Aldrous, Ringil and Areleth as they made their way back toward Camelot. She heard Sir Vinman order Areleth to run ahead and alert Sir Dagron. She heard Ringil volunteer to perform that task instead. She didn't know why Sir Vinman wanted Sir Dagron to be in Camelot before they arrived but she sensed an urgency in the way he rushed the party through Port Llast into Windycliffs. And she heard him tell Aldrous that "time was of the essence."

Each time they were delayed by minor battles along the road, she sensed Sir Vinman's frustration and eagerness to move on. He would set her on her feet again but she would be useless in battle. The sounds of the battle and the smell of blood made the icy darkness loom higher within her. She felt stiff and cold, and most of all, she felt frustrated by an inability to share the warmth and love that her brothers obviously felt for each other. Cast out of Kal's world, yet still unable to be close to her family, she ran in circles on the battlefield to exhaust the anger and frustration she felt building inside her. They all voiced concern for her along the way and she longed to return their expressions of love. But she felt consumed by the cold and blackness. She could barely choke out polite replies.

When they finally arrived in Camelot, Jo was so exhausted she was unable to even look around and appreciate the beauty that surrounded them as she usually did when she passed through the gates into her home. Sir Vinman laid her down and brought Sir Dagron to her side immediately. Other members of KORT gathered around to watch and give comfort as Sir Dagron instructed Sir Vinman on what must be done. Sir Dagron and Sir Vinman seemed to read each other's thoughts, finishing each other's sentences as they prepared the treatment. Jo found herself wondering how often they had been called upon before to perform this cure... and why they appeared so solemn.

When Sir Dagron instructed Sir Vinman to cut her wrist, Jo held her arm out to him trustingly. Just being in Camelot was thawing the coldness inside her. She tried to utter words of thanks and return her family's expressions of love as she drifted in and out of sleep. She was unable to keep up with all the movement about her but she understood that Sir Dagron was making a great sacrifice to heal her and that the treatment could cost him his life. She heard him tell Sir Vinman in a weak voice that she must receive a drop of his blood every four hours. He said that the illness would last for a fortnight and then pass. Looking down at Sir Dagron, weak and drained by the sacrifice he made for her, she could not imagine how he would survive even one night. The tears that welled in the eyes of the knights who assisted with the treatment made her feel ashamed to have brought such evil and danger into Camelot and into her family. Unable to reach Sir Dagron where he lay nearly unconcious, she pleaded with Sir Vinman not to let him die for her. She held Sir Vinman's hand to her cheek and then kissed it gently, hoping he understood how grateful she felt and how much love she had for all of KORT.

She slept fitfully that first night. At first her dreams would be filled with the beauty of Camelot and the love of her family. But each time the fourth hour approached, her dreams would turn to memories of Kal's touch, his voice, and the icy darkness. She would hear someone chanting his name in a wild hysterical voice, and she would struggle to bring herself out of sleep, wanting to strangle the lunatic who tortured her with the calling of that name. But each time she awoke, covered with sweat, she would realize that it was only a whisper coming from her own lips... "Kal Mirage." While Sir Vinman gave her the drop of blood she would look up at him, filled with shame, and wonder if he had heard her call Kal's name. If he heard, he gave no indication of it. He continued to treat her with warmth and kindness. When she looked over at Sir Dagron, pale and weak from the salvation that he was providing for her, she was more determined to fight Kal's hold on her. She could not let Sir Dagron's sacrifice be in vain.