Welcome to Camelot!

Chapter 1	They'll Let Anyone In Here...
Chapter 2	Things Get Interesting
Chapter 3	Careful Considerations
Chapter 4	What Can He Hurt?
Chapter 5	You Call This A Rescue Party?
Chapter 6	An Unexpected Discovery
Chapter 7	Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch
Chapter 8	Investigating The Suspicious
Chapter 9	Entering The Dark Domain
Chapter 10	Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch, Part 2

Chapter One - They'll Let Anyone In Here...

Overall this affair is going off fairly well" thought Exegete Nicator de la Forge, Knight Commander of the Round Table. He, and a number of other Knights had been attending an affair of state in the Palace of Lord Nasher, ruler of Neverwinter and of the Realms. It was a decoration ceremony for The Lady Nalika, in honor of her leading of the Knights of KORT in suppression of the Draconian incursions into the Triboar area.. The Knights had stood in long line, along with representatives of several of the other guilds in Neverwinter. The presentations and commendations had gone on and on and the sun became hotter and hotter (especially for those in the Formal Plate Armor the Knights had recently adopted for "official" occasions. Obviously, whoever had chosen the Silver and Black motif had never worn Plate Armor in the sun before. It was handsome enough, but gods breath it was hot and uncomfortable. It made the prospect of the coming reception and the cool mead and ale that was sure to be a part of it all the more attractive. Exe had always liked that part of these functions the best. Nasher had his faults, but by gods, he could throw a mean party. Exe winced as a cramp ran the length of his right calf. He had barely moved a muscle in the entire 2 hours of the presentation. Lady Nalika had threatened hold spells and itching power for those who were not still enough; but she was always testy about these things and Exe was fairly sure that she wouldn't follow through on her threat, but just the same...

Exe concentrated on the "drill" for standing at attention for long lengths of time. Knees slightly flexed, all muscles relaxed, eyes unfocused, but straight forward. Gauntleted hands on the pommel of his unshipped but sheathed Broadsword before him. Sword, tip resting on the ground, at right angles to said ground, precisely 6 inches from the body, at no time entertaining any angle, blah blah blah. Just kind of "hang yourself on a peg there" Tuvor had told him during his days as his Squire..

Basic Training had been a trip he mused absently, his mind wandering absently. Upperclassmen screaming at you, endless drills and ceremonies. Classes and book learning, and gods, the interminable ridiculous "trivia" they'd had to spout. "What is a cow Mr. Toad" Lessee, how did that answer go? "Sir, she walks she talks, she's full of chalk. Sir the lactated fluid extracted from the female of the bovine species is prolific to the nth degree Sir!" Exe almost smiled. The discipline of the service he mused. he still wasn't sure what the lactated fluid of the female of the Bovine species had to do with whacking the heads off Kobolds and sending evil doers to meet their dubious maker. But then, who was he to question the discipline of the service and the requirements of the order?

The blaring of trumpets and the stirring martial fanfare of the honors band near the presentation platform stirred him from his thoughts abruptly. The ceremonies were coming to and. All that was left was to march smartly by the reviewing stand and render honors to both Nasher and Nalika. Exe stepped into line with the rest of his troop and cheerfully fulfilled this last part of his "official" duties for this day. Each step brought the anticipated Reception closer and closer. .

The Ale was every bit as cool and refreshing as Exe had thought it would be. He finished his second mug quickly and, taking his third, moved over toward the little alcove that was serving and the gathering place for the Knights. The Knights, as a rule, preferred their own company, few having the courtly graces necessary to mingle in a diplomatic session. That was generally left to the likes of BlackCoral and Allsfaire, Nalika and Sir Corwin. These things most often turned into pleasant sessions of bragging and talking among the Knights, who loved free food & drink, well, pretty much above most everything else. Nalika had met them at the beginning of the reception and had entreated them to their best behavior. "This is a State Ballroom, not a common barroom" she had sternly told them. Ganzelle and Tuvor nodded solemnly. Ganselle readily agreed, looking mortified at the suggestion that he might do something unseemly. Akumu and Exegete just smiled agreeably, the others joining in. After all what could possibly happen at an affair of this nature. No one wanted any unpleasantness at such an affair. That should have been our first clue as what the evening would unfold.

Exegete had just returned from the bar with his 4th mug of Ale when he spotted the Kender moving around the edges of the crowd in the main Ballroom. No one else seemed to notice him, not at all unusual given the Kender skill of remaining unnoticed until they desired to be. Actually, at first, Exegete wasn't really all that sure he had seen the Kender at all, but a second look convinced him that was indeed a real, live Kender, in the act of removing a jeweled clasp from the gown of one of the ladies in the greeting line. "Oh gods" he thought, that's Miranda, the Lady of one of the BDA Yuckety Yucks. this should be interesting" The Kender was busily and successfully moving down the line unsuspected when the thought stuck Exe that this had the potential to cause so real trouble. Normally that wouldn't have bothered him, as these things tend to be a little dry and a diversion would serve to liven things up a bit. BUT, this was an affair in Nalika's honor and anything that caused trouble at this particular affair was definitely taboo tonight. Exe turned to head for the alcove and get some advice from Tuvor.

A Kender?" Tuvor asked incredulously? "Here? In Neverwinter? In Nasher's Palace?" he went on unbelievingly. "How many of those things have you had?" he asked indicating the mugs of Ale.

"Only four and it was a Kender I tell you" Exegete insisted defensively. "He's 'acquiring' things in the greeting line and has lightened some folks that won't react well!

"There haven't been Kender in Neverwinter for years" Ganzelle said, entering the conversation. "You sure it was a Kender and not the Ale?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. Exe's "talent" for imagination when under the influence was well known. "Try and remember not to torch the place this time" he added with a smile.

"I won't torch the place and there really was Death Knight at that Inn. I can't help it if my aim was off a bit, besides I paid for the damage" Exe said, a wounded tone in his voice. "Boy, one mistake and you branded for life!" he added.

"Well, I wouldn't say one mistake, now" Tuvor interjected with a smile "The was the oatmeal affair after all."

"Oh let's not get into that again" Exegete moaned. "Daggie still can't use that cloak and he reminds me of it every chance he gets" he said, a rue smile on his face. "You have to admit though, the cherries & whipped cream were a nice touch?"

"Depends on your point of view I guess" Tuvor admitted. "At any rate, we certainly don't want any kind of repeat tonight. This is great night for KORT and a great night for Sister Nalika and I don't want anything to spoil it for her. You heard what she said and I want to be on record as being in complete agreement with. . .with. . .with. . . ."

Tuvor stared off past Exegetes right shoulder at the area near the food buffet. Ganzelle followed his gaze and his mouth dropped open in surprise. Exegete turned quickly to see the Kender, in the process of sliding one of the golden food trays out form under some cold cuts and putting it under his cloak.

"Yeah, yeah" was Tuvor's only reply, intent as he was on watching the Kender's work right under the nose of the steward. "Gods, he's a good one" he muttered with grudging admiration.

"We've got to stop him, this could wreck the reception" Ganzelle whispered. "No magic" he went on, it would only alert everyone that there was something going on. "OK you guys, spread out"

The remarkable things was that they were able to catch the Kender at all. Ganzelle approached from one side, Exegete from behind, and Tuvor from a third side. Distracted by Exegete and Ganzelle, the Kender was delayed enough to fail to escape Tuvor's grasp. The three Knights hurried him off into a nearby cloakroom. Tuvor pushed him up against the back wall the three Knights confronted the Kender.

The Kender looked confused. "Please, One at a time" Tuvor asked raising a hand "And be quiet, we don't want the whole reception in here!" he added urgently. "Ooooohhh no you don't" he said grabbing the Kender who was trying to take the opportunity to slip out of the cloak room. "You're not going anywhere!" he said, pushing he back to the back wall. "Now Stay put and tell us what in the name of Tyr you're doing in Neverwinter, and at a formal reception no less!"

"Masterful Knights" the Kender began. "I was merely passing by and saw the wonderful party your Lordships were having and just thought I'd lean in take a peek, so to speak" he went on innocently. I had no idea I was trespassing. You know, if you want to keep people out of places, you really should get better locks, the lock on the pantry door must be defective or something it came right off in my hand!". he said sweetly, producing the lock from a pouch and showing it to the Knights.

"You took the lock off the door?" Ganzelle began in an amazed voice. "Tuv, I know these locks and they're the best available in Neverwinter!"

Tuvor looked the small Kender over with a practiced eye. "Let's see what else is in those pouches" he said quietly, but with authority.

"Surely kind master" the Kender replied, beginning to take his pouches and empty them on the floor. "I have nothing to hide"

"Wait a second, let's see the tray you stole from the buffet table first" Exegete said before the Kender was able to empty any of his pouches.

The Kender looked up in alarm. "Stole?!" he said in a shrill voice. "The tray was empty and I was just looking at it. It has some very interesting inscriptions on the back your know, just look here. . ." he said stating to turn the tray over.

"Never mind that" Exegete said grabbing hold of the tray and starting to wrest it from his hands. They grappled for a moment and then Exegete tore the tray from the Kender's hand. Ganzelle and Tuvor leaned toward Exegete, looking at the tray curiously. None of the three Knights saw the Kender's hand stray to a pouch at his side and withdraw a bit of dust. He quickly blew the dust into the air and, for the three Knights, the world went black as night.

All three of the Knights dove for where the Kender stood and a minor ruckus ensued. The darkness lifted a moment later to show Ganzelle manfully subduing a ladies sewing mannequin while both Tuvor and Exegete struggled with various cloaks that had somehow become entangled about their persons, both falling to the floor and writhing about in an attempt to get free. Tuvor was the first to get free and flipped over on his stomach to get up. He found himself staring at a pair of armored boots. He heaved a sigh and slowly followed the boot upward, eventually finding himself looking up at the amused visage of Dagron, Elder of KORT.

"Ahem!" Dagron intoned in his deep voice. Both Exegete and Ganzelle ceased their movement and looked at Dagron in apparent alarm and embarrassment. With a sheepish look at each other, they both quickly got to their feet and join Tuvor, who by now was standing looking anywhere but at Dagron. The three cast a quick glance around the cloak room, seeing that the Kender was gone. They exchanged glances, each understanding that there was the dickens to pay if Dagron caught them with a tray taken from the buffet table. He'd never believe that there was a Kender, thinking instead that this was part of some elaborate practical joke. Tuvor gave Exe a "Why do I let you get me into these things look" and turned his attention back to Dagron.

"I'm not sure I want to know what was going on here" Dag began. "You guys were making enough noise to wake the undead!" he said in low voice, conscious of the reception going on behind him.. "You know how important this is to Nal" he went, "Try and behave yourselves and keep the noise down" he added forcibly. He looked each Knight in the eye and receive a nod in response. As he did, he noticed that Exegete, standing on the left end of the trio, was holding something behind his back. "Whadda you got there Exe?" he asked.

"Yes, You!" Dag replied in a tired voice. "You - not the wall, you!" he added, as if to make his point clear.

"Ah!" Exe said, uncomfortably. "Me. Ummm. . .behind my back. . .you want to know what's behind my back?" he asked, clearly stalling for time.

Dagron scratched his forehead absently. "I'm gonna count to three. Now, I better not get to three because if I get to three, I know three Knights who'll be sorry and that my Momma ever taught me to count. Now. . .1. . .2. . ."

Exe pulled his hands pout from behind his back. "Nothing Dag, I don't have anything in my hands, what're you getting so intense about, Dag?" He said in a conciliatory tone.

Dag looked suspiciously at Exe's hands, as if he might have something up his sleeve. "Turn around" he commanded.

"Dag" Exe said in a wounded tone. "You know that as a Knight, I am pledge to the truth" he added.

"Yeah, Yeah," Dagron said. "You'd never bend the truth would ya, Exe?" he said as Exe turned around to reveal. . .nothing. "And neither would the two ballerinas I took to dinner a while ago, would they?" he concluded, his gaze shifting to Ganzelle, standing patiently, eyes front, both arms firmly behind his back.

Dagron pursed his lips, clearly considering the issue. "Brother Ganzelle" he began. "I would hate to think that you might something behind your back. I would further hate to think that what is behind your back is what WAS behind Exe's back." He said amicably. "I've always liked you Ganzelle, you know that" he said, his voice rising, "And I'd hate to have to hurt you. Now, be a good lad and give Uncle Dag what's behind you back" he concluded with a kind, fatherly smile on his face.

Ganzelle swallowed hard, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead. "My back Dag?" he began "There's noth. . ."

Dagron held his hand up, palm toward Ganzelle. "Don't brother, I couldn't bear it" He reached out and grabbed Ganzelle's arms and pulled them to the front - empty! Dagron sighed a weary sigh. "Put your hands on top of your head Ganzelle and don't move them" he said. "Exe, you too" he commanded, glancing over to be sure that Exe obeyed, which he did, being no fool.

He turned to Tuvor and fixed him with a steady eye. He stepped close to Tuvor and reached around behind him, bring the silver tray out after three of four pulls. He looked at the tray and the then at Tuvor, at the tray and then at Ganzelle, at the tray and then at Exe. He frowned and looked at the ceiling. "I'm gonna assume that you guys brought this tray back here with food on it, that you finished the food, and that you were about to return the tray to the table. I know, I KNOW that's what this tray is dong back here. I KNOW you guys weren't planning on livening up this reception a bit." he continued

All three of the Knights tried to speak at the same time, all shaking their heads with vehemence and energy.

Dag held his hand up once again, silencing the three. "All right. All of you, out where I can keep an eye on you. Ganzelle, say good bye to your friend first" he said indicating the Sewing dummy. With that, he gave each a stern look once again, and turned and strode out of the cloak room, followed by the three Knights, now intent on looking innocent and normal.

"Whew" Ganzelle whispered, as Dagron's back receding into the crowd. "That could've gotten nasty.

"I need to find new friends" Tuvor said with a look at Exe. But Exe wasn't looking or listening. He was scanning the crowd.

"I wonder where that damn Kender went" he mused. Tuvor and Ganzelle looked at each other and suddenly discovered they had business elsewhere, each disappearing quickly into the crowd.

Chapter Two - Things Get Interesting

Slen Star, Knight of KORT stood near the small alcove where most of the Knights were congregated partaking of some the delights of Lord Nasher's kitchens on a gold rimmed plate filled with delectable morsels of delicacies he, apparently relished with great gusto from the number of trips to the buffet table he had taken already. He was currently sampling some of Mrs. Nasher's Lime Jell-O, Marshmallow, Cottage Cheese surprise, a dish that he thought, with some surprise, was going unappreciated by the other guests. "No accounting for taste" he thought as he shoveled down his second helping of the concoction. He stopped in mid-chomp and stared with evident interest as Exegete, another of the Knights, approached the buffet table and, with a surreptitious look around, knelt and raised the elaborate skirt around the table and quickly ducked underneath. Berrun swallowed his mouthful with a gulp and continued to watch as if he was watching a dream. He walked slowly toward the table , looking around to see if anyone else had noticed and caught the eye of the beautiful Lady Allsfaire and motioned her toward the table.

Allsfaire raised a sculpted eyebrow and finished the helping of Pineapple upside-down beans she was eating, and putting her plate down on a side table, she picked up her glass of wine and moved toward Slen Star. As she approached she glanced approvingly at the buffet table and was startled to see the bowl containing the ever-popular Spam Soup begin to rock gently. She watched as the entire table began to tremble slightly at intermittent intervals. Amazed, she looked as Slen Star who shrugged as if to declare his innocence. Allsfaire stepped carefully to Slen Star's side. "I think I'll pass on the Spam Soup" she said dryly with a smile. "What's going on?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Exegete" was Slen Star's one-word reply, given with a knowing and amused look.

Allsfaire looked around in a puzzled fashion and failing to notice Exegete's presence, looked questioningly at Slen Star who indicated the buffet table. Allsfaire looked at the table for a long moment and then with a look that mingled horror and amusement, accompanied by a sharp intake of breath she looked back at Slen Star. "You don't mean. . . "

Slen Star pursed his lips and a neutral line and nodded. "'Fraid so" he said quietly. "And don't even ask me why." he went one.

Sir Corwin moved along the incredible length of the buffet table with looked the food over with a practiced and hungry eye. He had been detained on KORT business after the parade and presentations and was only just now able to get in and get something to eat. Sir Vinman and the Lady Sylphee moved through the line with him. "If this buffet was any larger," Corwin commented as he looked at the various branches and sections the huge buffet spread across two different rooms and hallways, "It'd need its own zip code".

"They must've know that Dag was coming" Lady Sylphee contributed, taking a portion of squid and macaroon pie.

Vinman laughed as he spooned a healthy portion of sardines and mayonnaise over the Peanut Butter covered pumpernickel he was holding in his hand. "I guess we ought to be thankful that he hasn't worked his way down here yet." he added, adding cucumbers to his sandwich.

"How can you eat that stuff" Corwin said with evident disgust. "I never could stomach Pumpernickel bread" he went on, turning back to the buffet table and continuing his own selection.

"Now Now Corwin, to each his or her own" Sylphee said as she selected a particularly nice section of pickled squid and lemons. She looked hard at the pickled eggs and brine. "And how long have you been in this sauce" she said absently to the eggs, turning them over with a fork to examine their undersides.

Vinman stepped up beside Sylphee, piccalilli dripping off his sandwich. He raised an eyebrow and looked at Sylphee. "Its just a guess now, but I'd say not nearly long enough"

"I hate it when my food answers me back" Corwin said from the other side of the table.

"Quick" Vinman said with a grin; "Ask it which really DID come first, the chicken or the egg?"

Sylphee smiled in spite of herself. "Jolly jokers" she said. "There's obviously someone under the table" she went on. She raised her voice a bit, careful to pitch it low enough to not be heard far from their position. "all right" she said "Who's under there?" and she rapped the table twice for emphasis.

"MmMmm hghghff eeeemmxxeftt" came the reply, this time from further down the table, to their left, from the direction of the Artichoke hearts and wine vinegar sauce.

With a dubious look at the pickled eggs, Sylphee moved casually down the table toward the sounds. She rapped the table once again, this time hard enough to cause the sour cream and rutabaga dip to jump into the air. "That's enough now" she commanded, come out of there"

Sylphee jumped in surprise. She turned quickly to see a footman, in full royal livery, standing before her eyeing her with a haughty stare.

"Is the dip not to Madame's liking?" he said, the tone of voice suggesting that Sylphee had all the class of a small soap dish.

"No, No it's fine" she managed, embarrassed to have been caught apparently talking to a serving table. "We're fine my good man. Please, go on about your business" she said, regaining her composure and dismissing him with a wave of her hand.

"Veddy Good, Madame" the footman said, his tone clearly one that said that he viewed Sylphee with aristocratic disdain. As he turned to leave, Sylphee went over the words of the Transformation spell in her mind,, trying to decide whether a toad or a flea would better suite the retreating servant. "Not worth it" she decided, regretfully.

Vinman touched her arm and turned her attention back to the table. As she turned, the table began to shake and the various trays and bowls on the table began to jump and clatter. A Bowl of Beef Jerky Stew fell and crashed at Sylphee's feet, splattering her legs and feet, as well and Vinman' with muck. The commotion stopped as quickly as it began, but the damage was done. All eyes nearby were on the trio and worse, the footman's receding back halted and turned, a disapproving frown on face.

The footman approached the trio with stately dignity. Several other servants appeared at his side, anxious looks on their faces. "If Madame wished some stew, Madame had but to ask." he said icily, surveying the mess. "What did Madame wish to do with entire bowl?" he asked, disdain evident in his voice.

"You don't want to know" Sylphee thought briefly. "MADAME" she began in a nasty tone, "had nothing to do with this" She fixed him with an equally icy stare. "You would do well to clean it up and keep our comments to yourself" she continued, he irritation showing clearly. "Where is the Ladies lounge" she asked loftily.

The footman indicated a door on the far wall. "Will Madame need assistance" he intoned, clearly implying that Madame needed all the assistance she could get."

Corwin stepped beside her and whispered in her ear; "You're gonna need a hose for all that" he said, amusement in his voice.

Sylphee looked at him harshly, then softened a bit. She drew a deep breath and then patted Corwin on the arm. "A Knight maintains his or her dignity at all times and in all situations" she quoted from the manual.

Slen Star approached from another portion of the buffet table. He surveyed the mess on the floor and the servants moving quickly to clean it up. He looked at Sylphee's legs and shoes, as well and Vinman' and cleared his voice. "I have a bit of information that you might find interesting" he began. All three of the other Knights turned toward him. "Allsie and I were over there" he said, indicating Allsfaire over in far west side of the room. "And we happened to notice Brother Exegete, ummmm, slipping under the buffet." he concluded. He smiled grimly and looked over the rapidly disappearing mess once again. "I'll bet this is his fault" he said. "Man, Dag's gonna kill him!"

"Not if I get hold of him first" Sylphee said in a dangerous voice. "Not if I get hold of him first!"

Chapter Three - Careful Considerations

Lord Nasher stood in the reception receiving line and, with a grace that endeared him to all in the realms, shook hands over and over with the incredible variety of guests filing by. At his side, Mrs. Nasher, all grace and smiles, complimented her husband in regal fashion. Next to Nasher stood the guest of honor, The Lady Nalika, Guild Master of KORT, herself struggling masterfully to remain pleasant fresh as the torrent of visitors moved past. With nods and smiles, compliments, small talk and the odd joke, Nalika fulfilled her duty to represent KORT in Knightly fashion.

The ruckus at the buffet table attracted even attention even from across the room. Heads turned and Lord Nasher looked inquiring in the direction of the crash. He spotted Sylphee and the others standing amid the ruins of the stew and a small smile appeared on his face. "They're yours aren't they Nalika?" he asked with a glance to his left at Nal.

"Indeed Milord" Nalika answered with a grimace. "I beg your pardon Milord, allow me to attend to it? I shan't be long" Nalika said in a tight voice.

"Of course, of course" Nasher said with a wave of his hand while giving Nalika a winning smile. "Give you a few moments away from this damn line" he added in a conspiratorial whisper.

Nalika returned the smile, though hers was a bit strained. "Thank you Milord, I'll be right back" She motioned for an aid to take her place in line and she moved around behind the line and over to where Dagron was standing, finishing off some pickled monkey brains with gusto.

Dag raised an eyebrow at Nalika' appearance and swallowed the mouthful he was chewing. He notice that Nal's gaze was toward the buffet table and followed it to where Sylphee was now finishing her comments to the footman and had begun to head for the lounge to clean up along with Sir Vinman. The servants were busily cleaning up the floor and order was quickly being restored. Another cauldron of stew had appeared and Corwin was back at the buffet, continuing to load his plate. 'Have to speak to Sylphee 'bout her table manners" he said, spewing some crumbs on the floor. He dabbed at the corners of his mouth with a napkin. "terrible mess", he said, his mouth now empty, "Terrible Mess", he repeated, shaking his head.

Nalika shook her head sadly. "Of all the bad times to have an accident" she said reflectively. She motioned Akumu, another Knight of KORT who was standing nearby over to her. "What happened here" she asked when Akumu arrived.

"It was the oddest thing Milady" Akumu began. "I was just coming over to the buffet to get some seconds on the anaconda and strawberry pie. Sylphee, Vinman, and Corwin were up the table a bit from me. I was looking the table over and happened to be glancing up to where Sylphee was standing" he said. "She seemed to be leaning over the table and talking to it, quite sternly I might add" he continued. "Now I've always had the utmost respect for Sylphee, but I did think this was a bit odd." He continued. "No sooner had she finished her rebuke of the table and the tureen of stew seemed to come to a life of its' own. It all but leaped up and threw itself at the Lady Sylphee." He smiled a small smile at the memory. "Thankfully, it wasn't a very good shot and landed on the floor. She was but wounded." he finished with a grin.

Nalika smiled at Akumu' tendency to describe things in terms of warfare. The image of a bellicose soup tureen was an entertaining one, though a bit unbelievable.

Dagron's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Nal, the thought occurs that the tureen might have had an accomplice", he said and then stopped short. "Er, that is, someone might have "helped" the tureen in its' 'attack'". he went on with a look at Akumu's innocent face. He frowned and shook his head. "I mean, that someone might have used the stew to embarrass Milady and try and make KORT look silly" He summarized.

"Especially suicidal ones" Nalika commented dryly. She motioned to one of the servants passing by with the remains of the stew and the tureen on a tray. A few murmured words later she concluded that the tureen had not been magically manipulated. "I think we can rule out magic" she said slowly. "I think we can also rule out animated pottery as well. This isn't a fairy tale after all, pottery doesn't walk and talk in the real world." she concluded.

Dagron looked around the room. "You're right about the pottery Nal, besides the Kaaos contingent isn't here yet" he said with a grin.

"Heheh" was Nalika' reply. "So, how'd that tureen get from the table to the floor?" she asked looking at Akumu.

"Nal, as I live and breathe, no one touched the tureen. It leaped up and threw itself at Sylphee." he said. "Come to think of it, the whole table seemed to shake and rise up as well." he continued thoughtfully.

Nalika looked at the buffet table and surveyed it with a critical eye. She went over picked up a squid stuffed olive and popped it in his mouth. She cast an eye over to the two Knights standing together near the scene of the incident; Slen Star and Sir Corwin. As he watched, Corwin shook his head and turned back to the table and Slen Star began to head over toward the west side of the room. She motioned to Corwin who was, it seemed, working his way as quickly as possible away from the scene of the incident. "Corwin" Nalika called, " A moment please"?

Sir Corwin slipped a last bit of the prune souffle on his crowded plate. and approached Lady Nalika "Yes Milord" he said formally, knowing exactly what Nal wanted.

"Do you have any light to shed on this incident"? Nalika asked, ignoring the slurping sounds coming form Dagron's direction.

"Nay Milord, I did not actually the incident, but was otherwise engaged at the moment it happened." Corwin said. "I did notice a certain brief unsettledness from the table but nothing more. Slen Star, however had some interesting light to shed."

'This is puzzling" Nalika commented. "It's almost as if someone was playing an elaborate practical joke" she continued and then stopped short. She looked at Dagron just as Dagron, stopped in mid-chew, a bit of seaweed hanging from his half-opened mouth, looked at her.

When Sir Vinman exited the lounge area, all cleaned up, he looked around the increasingly full banquet hall and spotted Tuvor and Ganzelle standing nearby, munching contentedly on food from the buffet table. Smiling, he approached them, greeting them enthusiastically. "You'll never guess what just happen to Sylphee and I" he began, excited to tell the tale.

"That Publisher's House thing finally come through"? Ganzelle added, busily clearing his plate with a hunk of bread. He chased down a bit of meat that seemed, at least to Vinman, to be moving agilely away from the bread.

"Heheh" Vinman replied, "No, not yet" he said with a laugh. "I was over there with Sylphee and Corwin, just gettin' something to eat, when the table went crazy and a tureen of stew flew at Sylphee. It missed but landed on the floor and splattered all over the both of us."

"Twas probably a bit underdone" Ganzelle observed chasing the meat around his plate. "Didn't want to be eaten I suppose?" he added, finally cornering the meat near his asparagus.

"I hate it when my food attacks me" Tuvor said. "although it would promote a healthy appetite." he finished, dropping the frog's leg bone and moving on to another one.. "You know, a good frog's leg is hard find" he said waving the frog's leg in the air as he spoke.

"I know" Ganzelle agreed. "I asked a waitress one time if she had frog's legs, and she slugged me"

"Seriously!" Vinman said. "Slen Star said he & Allsie saw Exegete disappear under the buffet tables a while ago. Sylphee is convinced it was he who messed up her new Tiva leg armor. She's really hot!" he added.

At the mention of Exegete's name, Ganzelle started and the food he was eating flew out of his mouth. Tuvor's face grew bright red and his eye's began to bulge out of his head after few moments. "Exegete!?" Ganzelle said breathlessly as Tuvor's face went through further contortions. He swept the disgorged food behind a potted plant with a discreet movement of his foot. "Oh gods" he moaned. "Tuv you don't suppose. . ." he said to Tuv, who, by now was turning a sort angry purple and grasping at his throat.

Vinman looked at Tuvor in a puzzled way. "You OK Tuv?" he asked. "You don't look so good." Tuvor make a raspy hacking sound and pointed to his throat. "Something go down the wrong pipe?" he asked. "Are you choking?" he added with some concern.

Tuvor rolled his eyes, and then, with some difficulty, rolled them back once again and nodded. Vinman grabbed his arm and slapped him sharply several times on the back. On the last slap, a piece of Frog Leg shot out of his mouth and flew all the over to a nearby beverage table, landing in the punch bowl. Ganzelle watched it's graceful arc and splashdown. "Nice shot" he commented.

Tuvor glared at Ganzelle and then at Vinman. "Am I choking!!!!!" he said, rubbing his throat, obviously irritated. "Am I choking!!!" he added further, his voice rising.

"You know Tuv" Ganzelle said thoughtfully, eyeing the buffet table. "It could be Exegete. He was concerned about that Kender we saw earlier."

"Kender" Vinman said in a puzzled voice. "There haven't been Kender in this part of the realms for a long time"

"Nevertheless, we saw one, had him in a hands to, but Tuvor let him get away." Ganzelle said, looking over at Tuvor who was rubbing his throat with one hand.

"What was that" Vinman said, "I didn't catch that last part. . .Kiss what?" he went on.

"Ahem" Tuvor went on, clearing his throat and eyeing Vinman. "I did not let him get away," he said turning his gaze toward Ganzelle. "If Dag hadn't interfered, we'd still have him." he concluded. He considered the situation for a moment. "However, all things considered, I believe we should let Dag know what's really going on."

"Not me" Ganzelle said, "It took me three weeks to get rid of the manure odor last time I gave him some bad news."

"At least you had a soft landing" Tuvor said with a smile, remembering the incident. "Could'a been worse" he added.

"Harumph" Ganzelle said. "Easy for you to say" he added huffily. "You weren't pulling horse poop out of you armor for two days." he said sulkily.

"Oh, it won't that bad. What can he do here, in a formal reception?" Vinman said optimistically, heading toward Dagron and Nalika.

"If we can find you" Ganzelle threw after him. "This oughta be interesting" he said to Tuvor as Vinman approached the leaders of KORT.. "We oughta run a pool on what Dag'll turn him into."

"So many possibilities" Tuvor said, "and so little time" he finished with a smile.

Chapter Four - What Can He Hurt?

"He's gonna pay for these leggings" Sylphee said, fuming over the stained leg ware she was wearing.

"Now we don't know that Exegete had anything to do with it" Akumu began in a dubious voice.

"Oh puhleeeez" Corwin interrupted. "This has Exegete written all over it." he went on firmly.

"Hmmmmmm" was all Dagron said, looking suspiciously at the buffet table before him, noting Slen Star making his way down the far side toward the little group.

"I really don't need any trouble here" Nalika contributed. "Even some 'innocent' trouble like a practical joke." She looked around the hall. "Where's Tuvor, if Exe is involved, then Tuvor can't be far away." She sighed. "This was supposed to be a good day for me" she continued. "I feel a headache coming on".

Dag patted her on the shoulder. "Don't worry Nal, we'll put a stop to it, whoever's behind it."

Nalika looked at Dagron dubiously. "Last time you tried to stop one of Exegete's practical jokes we had to pay to rebuild Strider's east wall." She said. "Not to mention defumigate the entire area. That old lady still cusses at me when I pass her house." she said accusingly.

"Let's not go over all that again." Dag said. "I didn't know that stuff was flammable" he alibied. "I still don't understand how he got all that in such a small package." He continued.

"Well, anyway. . ." Dagron said, snapping his attention back to the present. "Let's see if we can find brother Exegete. I have a question or two for him." he said, a dangerous gleam in his eye.

Vinman approached the group in time to hear that last comment. "Uh. . ." he began. "I just . . . ah . . ." He gulped seeing Dagron's mood. "I was just talking with Tuvor & Ganzelle over in the alcove there. . ." he stammered. "and. . .ummm. . ." he swallowed. "Oh hell" he said. "TuvorandGanzellesawExegetecrawlingundertheBuffettablejustafewminutesago" he finished in a rush and ducked behind Sylphee who looked at Dagron in alarm.

Dagron looked over at Tuvor & Ganzelle, back to Vinman, and then back over to Tuvor and Ganzelle. Tuvor and Ganzelle saw his stern gaze and waved and smiled weakly. With a crooked finger, Dagron motioned them over to the group. Tuvor looked behind him and then over at Dagron, then at Ganzelle and pointed at him. Dagron shook his head. Tuvor looked around the area once again. He pointed at a waiter just leaving a pantry and pointed to him. Dagron, with exaggerated patience, shook his head once again. Tuvor looked around once more and with a sickly smile, reluctantly pointed his finger at his own chest. Dagron smiled a chilling smile and nodded twice, & winked, wiggling his crooked finger once again.

Tuvor made a grab at Ganzelle's arm, but Ganzelle had developed a sudden interest in the potted plant in a nearby corner, so he missed cleanly. He smiled weakly again at Dagron, standing patiently with arms folded across his chest. S l o w l y, he began to walk over to Dagron, trying to appear nonchalant, only the dryness in his throat preventing him from whistling as he walked. Sadly, it took but a few moments for him to cross the distance between he and Dag.

"Hieeah" Tuv began. He cleared his throat. "Hi Dag, nice reception huh?" he said, laughing nervously.

"Hi Tuv" Dag said, cleaning his finger nails with his dagger. He absently trimmed a wayward cuticle and then, after taking an exaggerated look at the blade, put the knife back in its' sheath. He smiled at Tuvor, a frosty smile that lower the temperature in the immediate area significantly. "Where's Exe, Tuv?"

"Exegete?" Tuvor said questioningly. "You know, I haven't seen Exegete in quite a while now". He looked around the hall innocently.

"Heheh, Heh" Tuvor said. He coughed and cleared his throat once again and tried to look serious.

"He's under the buffet table somewhere" Tuvor said with resignation. "I haven't the foggiest notion of what, when, where, or why" he went on quickly. "All I know is the who part Dag, really!"

A dangerous light smoldered in Dagron's eyes. "You know how important today is for Nal" he said indicating Lady Nalika, now back with Lord Nasher. "Not to mention for KORT and our reputation" he continued.

"I know, I know Dag" Tuvor said placatingly. "I swear, I don't have anything to do with whatever Exe is doing. On my honor" he finished, drawing himself to attention.

Dagron sighed. "Well" he said, "perhaps it will work out OK" he continued. "Could be he's just taking a nap or something". he went on.

"We'll wait and see what happens" Dagron said wearily. "If any of you see him, put him on notice" he concluded and started to head back toward Nalika.

You know those times when it seems that an unseen hand is guiding events and managing the timing of things, causing them to happen at worst possible times? The phone rings in the shower, the doorbell when on the toilet, kids act up when on the phone, etc.? Well, this was one of those times. Dag had just turned back toward Nalika and Nasher when two things happened is short succession. The first was bad enough, though comical in a odd sort of way.

Several members of the Dwarven Clan Axepeak were rummaging through the food in the "Demi-foods" section of the buffet table (which, oddly enough, most of the rest of the guests avoided. Four Dwarves, Tohrm, Durgath, Noahwest, and Ruhq suddenly drew their weapons and began to hack and slash at the buffet table. Screaming something about "Dees be debil voices" and talking horses hooves, they were quickly subdued and escorted out of the hall by the Palace Guard. Dag stopped and looked back at the small group of KORT-ers. He shook his head and looked at the ceiling. He seemed ready to turn back to the group, but then turned back toward Nalika. He went precisely one step when the second thing happened, with far more serious and dangerous implications. Madame Kholari, wife of Kholari, the GM of the BDA, put her hand on her purse. At least she put her hand into her dress' pocket where she was under the impression that her purse should be. As anyone would, she simply grasped at where it should have been and pulled her hand back up to her face, to look in the purse for something. Her hand came up quickly and confidently (she's a bit on the arrogant side, haughty, you know the type) and nearly hit herself in the face with a large piece of cooked trout Confronted with a rather large fish, seemingly looking her straight in the eye, she did the only logical thing. She screamed in alarm, dropped her glass of red wine, and then fainted dead away.

"Oh My god!" Dagron said in a resigned voice.
"Nice looking piece of fish" Akumu offered
"Probably undercooked" Allsfaire observed, approaching the group
"Wonder what's in the other pocket" Corwin said.
"Cocktail sauce if she's lucky" Vinman answered with a grin.
"I didn't know there was seafood. . ." Slen Star said in a cheated voice.
"Tsk, tsk," Sylphee chided "Red wine with fish?" she said raising a disapproving eyebrow.
"Don't you just hate a dull party?" Ganzelle said will a grin, having approached from the other direction.
"Exe, you better hope Dag never sees you again" Tuvor whispered

Chapter 5 - You Call This A Rescue Party?

Numard Feathertouch reflected, and not for the first time either, that being smallish for a Kender could be quite an advantage at times. He sat under one of the buffet tables and looked at the glittering amulet he had just "borrowed" from the Lady Wraith. It was a lovely thing indeed. Made of purest silver and encrusted with various jewels and diamonds and weighing; he hefted the amulet experimentally in one hand; about 22 ounces. He looked at the broken clasp on the ornate chain and immediately saw that it had broken because of a flaw in the workmanship. Numard clucked his tongue and shook his head over the one flaw in an otherwise apparently flawless piece.

He slid the amulet in one of his pouches and removed the ring of invisibility from his hand, glancing back toward the area of the room where the Lady Kholari had fainted. The noise level was definitely growing there. He smiled at his fortune at having been emerging from the netherworld beneath the buffet tables just in time to see the amulet break as the Lady Wraith was fondling it admiringly. She had given a little yelp in alarm and her husband had turned and said a few words to her. The end result had been that it had been placed in a pocket and Numard had had the opportunity to "examine" it. He had never been able to understand the ruckus that humans raised when things turned up missing. they obviously had no appreciation of the transient nature of things. He shook his head once again. It was plainly getting too active at that end of the room for him to slip out there. He looked down the branch of the table where he had come from and heard the dim noise of his pursuer begin to approach from that direction. He briefly considered using the trap door he was sitting on, but then ruled it out as well. There was another whole branch of the table that he hadn't explored yet, and his Kender instincts and curiosity compelled him to explore that direction, so he did. Yes, shortness was definitely an advantage in some situations he mused as he went quickly down the south branch of the underworld of the buffet tables at a kind of bent over lope.

Sir Exegete Nicator De La Forge was getting distinctly tired of crawling around on his hands and knees. He paused and rolled over on one hip for a rest. He heard the ruckus growing off to his left and tentatively parted the skirt of the buffet table discretely to look in that direction. He saw a bunch of people, mostly BDA's and their attendants milling about at the far northern edge of the buffet table. A he watched, the group moved about and then several of the group, Kholari, Absstain, Glaeros, and two or three others, stood up, pointed in what Exegete thought was his direction, and started moving toward him (or so he thought at the time). Exe gulped and closed the table skirt quickly. Exe decided that discretion was the better part of valor and began to crawl rapidly to the east, toward where he thought the Kender had gone, but now thinking little of the Kender, and concerned mainly with preserving his life. He moved fast, not really careful about what he bumped against and as a result, several of the guests around the buffet table were treated to helpings of various foodstuffs they either were or were not (mostly were not) considering. Some of the samples even ended up on the plates. A particular favorite was the Macadamia nut and pickle surprise that ended up leaking into Squire Valeana's new boots as she considered what to add to the pile of food on her plate. Her fellow Squire, Hakar, looked over at her in surprise as she was normally very delicate and tidy in her affairs.

"Valeana", he said in a shocked voice, "Dag told us to be careful". He raised a further eyebrow as Valeana murmured an oath in a low voice. "That would be extremely uncomfortable and besides, I don't think I can reach" he said mildly.

Valeana put he plate down on the table and turned towards Hakar. "If you're gonna be clumsy, be clumsy on yourself next time!" she said vehemently.

Valeana looked around the area carefully, seeing no one else near. She shot Hakar another furious look. "You're lucky that we're on our best behavior bub" she said and turned her back on him, to head for the ladies lounge to clean up. Now, as we have mentioned, there are times when the fates work in almost demonic coordination. The very moment that Valeana turned away from Hakar the table lurched again (Exe was just leaving that particular area) and a large platter of egg and raspberry jam tort (with that delicious cucumber dressing) fairly leapt into the air directly toward Valeana's back. Hakar, mystified about all of this, saw it and, quick lad that he is, reached to grab the platter. Unfortunately, he'd already seriously depleted the ale supply and his coordination was not quite what it should be. He did succeed in grasping the platter with one hand, but only just after it struck Valeana in the back and was about to fall to the floor. Valeana's back froze, and not because of the temperature of the contents of the platter. She spun around, flinging chunks of egg and raspberry jam in all directions and confronted Hakar, now standing just three feet from her, holding the dripping platter in his hand.

A sickly smile spread over Hakar's face. "Heheh" he managed as Valeana's temperature visibly rose, coloring her face an increasingly raspberry-like shade of red. "Now Valeana, this isn't what it looks like" he stammered, backing away from her. "Now, Now, Dag told us to be on our best behavior, remember?" He said. "I didn't do it, the platter jumped. . ." he stopped, realizing how ridiculous that sounded. "I caught it. . ." he stopped again, still retreating. He put the platter on the nearby table, and looked back at Valeana, and noticed she had lost her angry look and was staring over his shoulder. He cast a quick glaze over his right shoulder and was startled to see an advancing group of very angry looking BDA's. "Ruh Roh" he murmured in a low voice.

"You can say that again" Valeana echoed. And they both turned and headed for the main group of KORT'ers further down the buffet tables.

Sir Dagron, just a few moments before had turned back to his group of Knights standing in a cluster and walked quickly to their side. "You know, at this moment, all things considered, I'd rather be in. . .well, almost anywhere." he said, following it with a sigh. He looked down at the buffet table extending to his left and noted the vibrations and jumps that would soon result in the incident between Hakar and Valeana. The other Knights waited patiently for him to continue, several taking the opportunity to pop various and sundry tidbits into their mouths.

Dagron looked back at the group. "Somebody's gonna have to go under there after him" he said resignedly.

As a unit, all mouths in the group froze into immobility. A trickle of anchovy sauce trickled unheeded out of the side of Slen Star's mouth. Sylphee noticed it and absently dabbed at it with a napkin. Tuvor began muttering the words to a group invis spell, but was startled out it by an elbow from Allsfaire.

"Tuvor" Dag said, "You and Ganzelle will go after him" he continued decisively. "And don't bother complaining about it" he went on dangerously.

"You two were with him at the beginning of this mess, and you'll be the ones to find him and end it." Dagron said. "This is now a KORT discipline matter and I want it brought to a close quickly" he commanded. "And quietly" he concluded in a firm voice.

The other Knights formed a kind of shield around the two, and in a moment, they disappeared under the table, the gazes of the other Knights following them into the darkness. Akumu was the first to look around, noticing that Hakar and Valeana had just joined the group. he looked Valeana over, noting her condition, and then looked up and thus was the first to spot the approaching BDA's

"Um, Dag" he said, tugging on Dagron's tunic. "Do you know if Nasher's insurance is paid up?"

Dagron straightened up and turned in the direction Akumu was looking just in time to see the group of BDA's come to a stop a few meters away, BDA Kholari at the head of 8 other BDA warriors.

Chapter 6 - An Unexpected Discovery

Sir Ganzelle crawled along behind Tuvor who was setting a fairly rapid pace, muttering under his breath all the way. Ganzelle couldn't quite make out the substance of the muttering though he did frequently catch a word or two. The words "stake" and "Hot Poker" and "bent over" had figure prominently earlier in the crawl, but now they seemed to center more on "under shorts", "red ants" and "peanut butter". Ganzelle shuddered and a first mention of "boring beetles" and crawled on in silence. They were headed down a bewildering length of under-table with various offshoots of the buffet table to the left and right. At each, Tuvor would pause and consider , and then plunge on forward on the main trunk. As the minutes passed, Ganzelle began to be sorry he had eaten as much as he had. His stomach began to rumble and gurgle. Ganzelle paused and adjusted his belt to a bit of a more comfortable position, then hurried to catch up to Tuv, who had come to a major junction where the main table branched to the right and to the left. He had rolled onto his right side and was contemplating the choice before them with a distressed look on his face.

"I shouldn't have that third and fourth helping of the Pineapple upside-down beans" he complained as Ganzelle caught up.

"Yeah, I know what you mean" Ganzelle sympathized. "I got a little bit of a war going in my own stomach" he continued, with a small belch, discreetly covered by a hand. "all this bending over doesn't help either" he added.

"Tell me about it" Tuvor said wryly. "We seem to have a choice before us." he went on.

"Right or left? If you were Exe, which way would you go" Ganzelle asked, looking in both directions.

"Which way is the stupid way?" Tuvor mused, only half kidding. "I'm really gonna have to. . .ah. . . discuss this joke stuff with him" he went on in an irritated voice. "Sometimes it really gets out of hand".

Ganzelle thought it wise to refrain from replying as neither agreement nor disagreement seemed attractive to him. "Well" he said, "To the left would take us toward the head of the buffet, and there isn't much room up there. To the right would take us toward the salads and desserts." He paused and thought for a moment. "I think Exe's more of a dessert man myself" He went on. "I vote to go to the right."

Tuvor considered the situation for a moment. "You might be right there. There is much more table this way" He paused again to consider and the absurdity of their situation rose once again in his mind. "By god Ganz, I never thought I'd spend the afternoon crawling around on my belly like a Kaaos'er under a table" he said. He swore softly under his breath. "Well, let's get going" he said. He rolled over on his hands and knees again and yelped in pain as he felt a sharp edge slice into his palm. "Damn!" he shouted, then caught himself and ducked his head as if to take back the loudness of his voice. He looked at his hand and saw a shallow cut about two inches long on the heal of his left hand below his little finger. "Jeez," he said, "What the heck is under this carpet?"

Ganzelle looked at where Tuv had placed his hand and saw the small point of metal poking through a gap in the plush throw that the buffet table area was covered with. "Look here Tuv" he said. "Damn if this don't look like the edge of a trap door".

Tuvor and Ganzelle both maneuvered themselves into position and then Ganzelle moved the throw aside and, sure enough, a trap door, about 3 foot by three foot, appeared before them.

"Well smack me naked and hide my clothes" Ganzelle said with a low whistle. "Lookee what we got here"

"Oh Please" Tuvor said with a grimace at Ganzelle's exclamation, "I just ate after all" he continued. He looked with interest at the door. He took a tentative pull at the mechanism and was kind of startled at the fastness with which it was fastened. "Hmmm" he said. He quickly mumbled the words to a "Knock" spell and was startled to find the door remain locked.

Ganzelle watched Tuvor with interest. When the "Knock" spell failed he quickly murmured the same spell. His eyebrow raised as it too fizzled, ineffective.

"I wonder" Tuvor said. He cast a detect magic spell and smiled as the door began to glow softly, indicating an enchantment keeping it shut. "What have we here?" he murmured with a look at Ganzelle, who merely shrugged. "I think we can safely rule out housekeeping's part in this" Tuvor said with a grin.

"Agreed" Ganzelle said, joining in the grin. "Why would Nasher have this door Wizard Locked?" He asked.

"Who says it was Nasher" Tuvor said. "My devious little mind suggests that this might be something Nasher knows nothing about."

"Easy enough to find out" Ganzelle said and quickly murmured the words to a detect evil spell. He smiled grimly as the door began to glow with the deep green that indicated that the lock was set by an evil. "The plot sickens" he said quietly.

Any further discussion was suddenly cut off but the noise racket of an approaching figure from the right section of the buffet table.

Sir Exegete of the Forge hurried back toward the central area of the buffet table, chasing the retreating Kender as fast as he could crawl. "How the heck can a grown man miss something as big as a Kender in a space this narrow" he thought. "I have got to be the stupidest man alive." he went on. He simply could not figure out how he had managed to crawl right past the Kender, who had quickly taken off in the opposite direction. "This Kender must be part groundhog" he thought as the Kender disappeared around the bend in the table. Between the crawling and bends in the table at this end, he hadn't been able to get off the "Hold" spell he had been preparing. "nothing but crawling is going to get the job done here" he thought and redoubled his speed.

Numard Feathertouch grinned to himself as he sped around the corner away from Exegete. It was so easy to fool humans. They looked at the obvious, making it easy to hide and deceive them when necessary. He glanced back to see if the human was still pursuing and saw, with a start, that he was actually beginning to gain ground. He approached a corner in the buffet and glanced back again. He saw with satisfaction that his pursuer had disappeared around a bend, tho he could still hear his coming. He looked back forward and his heart leapt into his mouth as he found himself only a few feet from two more humans, inexplicably sitting across his path. "Lady Luck simply is not with me today" was his final thought as he crashed into the two humans.

Decisions, Decisions" Ganzelle said. "Wha......" he said, stopping in mid-word as the noise of Feathertouch's approach reached him.

Tuvor followed his gaze down the right branch of the table. "What the. . . ." he exclaimed as the Kender barreled around the corner and into both he and Ganzelle. The three of them collapsed into a tangle of arms and legs. Instinctively he grabbed for the Kender with his right hand.

"Sorry" Tuv said, trying again, this time succeeding in grasping Feathertouch by the scruff of the neck. He lifted the groggy Kender a short ways off the floor. "Well I'll be dipped" he said. "It's the Kender.

"Wha....?" Tuvor said, looking around in alarm just as Exegete crashed into him from behind, sending both he and the Kender to the floor once again.

"Hi guys" Exe said, picking himself up and grasping the Kender's leg firmly.

"You found Exe Tuv" Ganzelle said with a barely suppressed smile as he too grasped the Kender, he by an arm.

"I knew I shouldn't have had that extra couple plates of the Upside-down beans" Tuvor said.

Exe looked at Tuv through the thickening fog. "Yer voice is different Tuv, but yer breath is still the same" he commented, holding his nose.

"Ah shaddup" Tuv replied. More and more it looked like this just wasn't going to be his day.

Chapter Seven - Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch

Civilized people have certain conventions about dress and such, in fact, conventions about most of the ways that they interact with one another. Civilized people, that is. By definition, Dagron thought, that excluded BDA's. The group approaching the KORT gathering was definitely a sight to be seen. Spikey multicolored hair, leather and chains, black armor, and other semi-bizzare affectations characterized the group. Kholari, at the head of the group, was the only one dressed in any sense of the word "normal" in spite of the green hair which was at least all one color. He wore a long tunic that sported the BDA house crest on it.

"That's not at all like the crest for BDA in the barracks men's room" Akumu murmured in Dag's ear as they came to a stop.

"What're you laughin' at jerkweed?" Kholari roared, stepping up into Dagron's "personal" space.

Dagron turned his head and coughed, eye's watering slightly. "Been partaking of the Onion Dip Kholari?" he said innocently. "You really oughta try and vary your diet. I can't imagine that it makes it very easy to keep your wallpaper on the walls" he said, continuing the innocent appearance.

Kholari just frowned and let loose with another blast, directly into Dag's face.

Dag covered his mouth and nose with his hand (trying to make it look like he was "scratching" his nose - but nobody was fooled) and took a step backwards. He cleared his throat. "Nice of you to stop over Kholari. I appreciate your support for Nal. I know you and she are such good buddies." He went on as he turned to the buffet table and selected a portion of pickled sardine, placing it on a piece of Italian bread.

Kholari laughed that nasty BDA laugh and stepped over beside Dagron. "Oh yeah" he said. "Nal and I are just real good friends". We do laundry together and everything" he continued, taking a dollop of whipped cream and adding it to Dag's sandwich. "In fact" he went on, "I was just gonna... compliment her on the slick way she had one of you piles of Trag droppings lift one of my woman's trinkets, an amulet she had in one of her pockets." He added a portion of sliced Bull's pisle to the sandwich. "By the way the fish in the pocket was a nice touch." he finished, adding a portion of tomato sauce to the sandwich.

"Was that what all that little ruckus was about a few minutes ago"? Dag inquired, looking with growing dismay at his platter. "I thought maybe somebody's subscription to the Boy Scout Times had expired." he added.

"Or maybe that they found the pictures of your momma I took last night" Slen Star added, in sotto voce, earning a double elbow from Sylphee and Allsfaire.

Dag cast a nasty glance at Slen Star and then at Kholari, who apparently had not heard the comment and was adding a small dipper of raw oyster to Dag's sandwich.

"Very High in protein" he said and quite the thing for, ah. . ." he hesitated, looking around at the ladies in the KORT group (there were a couple in the BDA group as well, but Kholari didn't consider them ladies [and rightly so!) "enhancing manly performance" Kholari went on, "in which department, from what I understand, you could certainly use help." he finished with a sickly smile, adding a second dipper or raw oyster to the growing pile on Dag's plate.

Now understandably, the KORT group didn't much appreciate this comment and a general murmur of outrage circulated the group, especially among a couple of the younger Squires who thought Kholari was talking about Dag's ability to fight.

Dag just smiled, trying to avoid looking at the plate, which was beginning to drip on his hand and arm.

"Now" said Kholari. "If you were my Lady's Amulet, where would you be?" he asked sweetly, but in a menacing kind of voice.

Dag looked thoughtfully at Kholari and opened his mouth to reply. Allsfaire grabbed his elbow, rather on the forceful side causing Dag to wince a bit. "Ummm" she whispered, "Remember that I bruise easy".

Dag smiled and looked back at Kholari. "You shouldn't give me openings like that Kholari, it's too easy" he said with a smile, putting the plate down on the table and wiping his hand on Kholari's tunic. "I haven't the foggiest idea where it is and wouldn't tell you if I did. You got a lotta hutspa coming over here like this and so I'm gonna give you credit for guts. Not many would do it, but you did, you and your little collections of brain deads here." He cast a glance around at Kholari's companians, then back to Kholari. "We don't have it, never did and that's that. Now I suggest you take yer sad story and your bad hair collection and get yer butts back where it's safe 'cause the weather's about to take a decided change for the worse here." he said in that quiet, deadly voice of his (you know the one). The other KORT'ers spread out into a line. Their number had grown to twelve with the addition of a couple Squires and Kholari looked the line over carefully.

"Damn goodies think yer invincible" one of the BDA's said from behind Kholari.

"Curb yer toy poodle Kholari, 'fore he turns into a puddle" Akumu said amicably from Dag's right side.

Kholari looked daggers, first at Akumu, then at Dagron. He glanced down at the still brimming plate next to Dagron on the buffet table. The plate slowly began to rise into the air and drift toward Dagron. Dagron met Kholari's gaze and then focused on the plate as well, stopping it's progress. the plate shook and shimmered in the air and one by one, all of the rest of the KORT'ers and BDA's focused their attention on the plate and lent their, not inconsiderable abilities to the test of wills. The plate seemed almost to begin smoking at the combined mental energies being expended. Quite naturally, Murphy's Law being what it is, then it happened.

The Lady Nalika had just rejoined the greeting line with Lord Nasher. She had managed to shake enough hands to get her mind off of the goings on she had just dealt with. The smile was beginning to return to her face and he was recovering the pleasant banter that made her such a joy to talk to. She was in the middle flirting with an Elven Prince from one of the border areas when one of Nasher's footmen tapped Nasher on the shoulder and whispered in his ear, pointing in the direction of the KORT contingent. Nal followed his gaze and spied the confrontation, in progress. Only good breeding and years of practice at diplomacy and self-restraint preventing her from cursing like a Luskan Pirate. "Pardon Milord" she sputtered. "It seems like my attention is needed once again" she went on.

"T'would seem so Nalika" Nasher said in a voice that indicated that he was not a happy camper. "Attend to it" he commanded.

"Of course Milord" Nalika said, becoming a bit peeved herself. She left the line and hastened across the floor toward the two groups. "I really don't need this" she thought as she fairly ran across the room (in a dignified and reserved manner, of course). "I really don't" She arrived at the edge of what was now a sort of circle, on the KORT side of course, and began to force her way through the ring. What she didn't know was that all were concentrating on the same task, and that any interruption would disturb the delicate balance that had been established. By disturbing it, she set in motion a chain reaction. She elbowed her way trough the last of the ring and stepped into the center of the gathering. "What the hell is going on . . . ." was all she managed to get out.

Dagron immediately noticed that the plate was beginning to move, and in a decidedly poor direction. the contest of wills hadn't lasted too long, but had been very even, so far. Some had even gotten creative and had added stuff to the plate while it hovered. Dag had seen portions of Ox gizzard, raw egg souffl�, steak tartar, blow fish, glazed pork intestine, and several things too disgusting to consider float onto the top of the pile. Someone had even added a small bowl of Vanilla Ice Cream as well, though it did have some sort of topping that looked remarkably like snot. Thus he was dismayed when the bowl began to move, ever so slowly, then much more quickly, toward him. He summoned a last, titanic effort and managed to deflect the bowl up in air and to his left where it flew firmly into . . . . The Lady Nalika.

The BDA side of the circle erupted into raucous laughter while the KORT contingent lapsed into stunned silence. The giggle that seemed to start with some of the ladies was quickly silenced as Nalika looked first at herself and then at the assembled Knights. BDA Absstain stepped forward. "Hollandaise Sauce Nal?" he asked solemnly, then burst into laughter.

"If you were hungry Nalika. . ." Kholari began, but was interrupted by the small matter of Bar-B-Que spare ribs impacting his left shoulder. No one knew just who began the resulting food fight, though the next day, the newspapers all maintained that it was almost certainly a Knight of KORT.

Chapter 8 - Investigating The Suspicious

Ganzelle helped Tuvor up off of the floor, still firmly in control of the Kender. "If I was you Exe, I'd avoid Dagron for the next couple decades. He's kinda peeved, and from what we've heard since we started looking, he ain't gettin' any happier. Just as we went under looking for you, there was some mention of Jewels and a pike, and I don't think he was talking about yer bank account." He said as he and Tuvor hauled the groggy Kender upright.

"He might not live long enough for Dag to get a chance at him" Tuvor said in a menacing voice, turning his gaze to Exe. "What in the h*** did you think you were doing coming under here?" he asked, incredulously. "You heard Dag's warning just as well as we did" he went on angrily. "What the bloody h*** were you playing at?"

Exe shifted uncomfortably under Tuvor's glare. "I saw our little friend here head under the table, and I figured he was up to no good and might be doing something that could cause trouble for Nal. I was just trying to prevent trouble and be sure that Nal's day was a great one and wasn't interrupted." he replied in an injured voice.

"Yeah, well. . ." Tuvor said, taken a bit aback by the earnestness in Exe's voice. "You better beef that story up before Dag gets a hold of you" he said gruffly. "He ain't as softhearted as me and Ganz."

At the mention of his name Ganzelle, who had been reexamining the trap door looked up and said earnestly "Hey you guys, there's something odd about this door. I think there've been multiple wiz locks cast here" He moved his position so both Tuvor and Exe could see where he was pointing. "Look here, and here" he said pointing.

Tuvor leaned closer to get a better view. "You know," he said, "I think you're right"

Exe looked at the lock as well. "Why would anyone want to secure a trapdoor that's out of sight, out of use?" he wondered aloud.

"Can't say I can think of anything particularly profitable" Ganzelle said as he looked further at what appeared to cover the hinge mechanism.

Tuvor shook the Kender to waken him. Numard groaned and his hand flew to his nose as he came back to full consciousness. "By Grandmother's Lila's hair knot" he said in a disgusted voice. "Truly the odor in here is offensive."

"Let's just say I been having intestinal problems" Tuvor said and dragged the Kender over to Exe and Ganz who were still looking over the trapdoor.

"I think the problem starts a little higher than that, Tuv" Ganz said absently, working on the area that seemed to house the hinge mechanism. "I suspect it ha33s more to do with what goes in than what it goes into" he went on. "C'mere and look at this" he added in an interested voice.

"Thanks for the consult Doctor Ganzelle" Tuvor said with just a bit malice evident in his voice.

"I think I got one of the Wiz locks beat Tuv" Exe said as the visible glow faded from the door.

Tuv crawled over on top of the trapdoor to help Ganz examine the hinge area.. "Great - Watch our little friend Exe" he commanded.

Exe looked over at the Kender who was interestedly fiddling with the opposite side of the trapdoor to which Ganz and Tuvor were working. "He doesn't look to interested in getting away any more Tuv" He looked more closely at what the Kender was doing. "Whatcha doin' there little fella?" he said as he leaned over toward the Kender.

"Elementary lock this" Numard said. "Just a quick turn here and a little pressure there" he said in an excited voice. "And Presto!"

"Umm Tuv" Exe said quickly when he saw the progress the Kender was making. "If I was you, I'd move"

"Hmmmmm?" Tuv said, his back to them both, rising up and turning as he heard Exe's suggestion. He turned sufficiently to see Exe and then heard a loud click. In the quickness of his mind he registered the click as the sound of a lock opening. Neurons pulsed with speedy energy as he connected the sound of the lock to the trapdoor and realized that the Kender must have succeeded in finding and picking the locking mechanism. A part of his cerebellum registered respect for the Kender's abilities while another part began to ring with a persistent warning. In almost an annoyed fashion, his logic center mind responded to the warning and was informed that he was still kneeling on the trapdoor, now unfastened and beginning to drop from beneath him. The logic center sent a impossibly fast command to the involuntary neurological control center located in the brain stem. In response it sent impulses to his well-trained muscles, unfortunately far too late to have any real effect. The trap door swung down and out of the way, followed just a scant tenth of a second later by Tuvor himself, falling out of sight in the darkness below.

"Guess I'm not you" Exe said looking down into the newly created hole. "Kinda glad right now" he added with a wince as Tuvor crashed in some unseen clutter of stuff below.

Ganzelle turned at the sound and sight of the trap door opening and looked blankly around, having missed the fall entirely. "Where's Tuv?" he asked, just before the noise of Tuvor's landing rose for the hole. He joined Exe in looking into the opening of the trapdoor.

Numard Feathertouch looked up at both with a broad smile. "Partners!" he said. "Good Fun"

Chapter 9 - Entering The Dark Domain

Tuvor opened his eyes groggily and then looked about him appraisingly. He'd fallen longer distances, but this certainly one of his top ten falls. He moved to stand and groaned as a sharp pain in his back drilled home the need for care. He reached around and withdrew a broken table leg from its' offending position and the pain eased. He looked up just in time to see Exegete land lightly beside he, dropping into a crouch to absorb the impact. Ganzelle's form followed on the other side of Tuvor, as well as the form of the Kender.

The Kender replied in a high pitched squeal "Partners Partners! Me do lock, we partners" he said nodding his head forcefully, as if that settled the matter. He then looked around and scuttled away quickly, almost surprisingly fast, leaving Ganzelle's reply to die unsaid on his lips.

"Why is it, Exe, that I'm always the one that suffers for your adventures?" Tuvor said in a menacing voice as he straightened up painfully.

"Hey, I didn't undo the lock and I did try and warn you" Exe said as he too stood up, looking around. "Ganz down here" he said.

"Yeah, I'm here" Ganzelle said. "Not much light" he said.. He murmured a few words and an orb of light danced away from his fingers and positioned itself above and to the front of them. The immediately saw the Kender off to the right, exploring an apparently locked door. Ganzelle cast his eyes around the room and noticed some vague shapes off to the left. He motioned to the glowing orb and it moved to illuminate the shapes. "Exe, Tuv, Methinks fun time's over" Ganz said as the shapes resolved themselves.

Chapter 10 - Meanwhile Back At The Ranch - Part 2

Lord Nasher starred furiously at the leader's of the two guild contingents. "I expect this kind of thing from squires and other children" he spat out, "But not from those who should know better and be able to control their subordinates!" he finished in a furious voice.

Lord Nalika and Lord Dagron simply remained quiet, their good breeding and training asserting itself, despite the bits of food and sauce the adorned various parts of their persons. Dagron serepticiously dipped his finger in a bit of tamale sauce and sucked at it thoughtfully. Nalika simply rolled her eyes and wondered how in the world a day that was intended to honor her had come to such a, well, messy end.

Kholari for his part had slouched his way through most of the tirade from Nasher. His barely contained anger mounting moment by moment. That last bit about controlling his men filled the thimble of his patience to overflowing. "I have complete control over my forces" he said in a low voice, at least trying to maintain some semblance of respect for the great Lord Nasher. "We were not the ones to start this matter. We were not the ones to use food for battle" he said with contempt for KORT dripping from his voice as he glared over at Nalika and Dagron. Nalika returned his stare steadily and Dagron, partially hidden from Nasher, made an impolite gesture also mouthed silently for clarity's sake.

Kholari's already deeply red face reddened even more. "They still mock us, even here!" He cried, his voice raising, as he turned and began to take a step toward Nal and Dag.

Nasher raised a hand and interposed it between the men. He took two meaningful steps forward, placing himself between them. "There'll be no more of that!" he said in a voice that instantly stilled all. I remind you, Kholari, that I rule here and that I, and I alone enforce that rule. I think you might want to consider who will answer any action you might take at this point."

The struggle in Kholari's face was apparent. His hatred for KORT and for all that are good was apparent, but so also was his fear and respect for Nasher's legendary abilities. He almost shook as he controlled his anger and lapsed into immobility. Nasher held his gaze and continued the stare, forcing Kholari to look away in embarrassment, and step back to his original position. Nasher waited, and waited a moment more. Kholari cleared his throat, "As you say Milord" he murmured, the words fairly wrenched from his throat.

Nasher turned as looked at Nalika and Dagron. "I will not tolerate any more of this behavior. Is that clearly understood? Clearly?" he said threateningly. "There will be order and it will happen now!" he added forcefully with a withering look at all present.

"Yes Milord" both Nal and Dag replied with assurance. Nasher looked over the appearance of all three men and wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Now get out of here all three of you and get cleaned up. The reception will recommence in 10 minutes and there better NOT be any more interruptions. Are we agreed?"

"Agreed!" Nalika, speaking for KORT
"Agreed" said Kholari quietly, speaking for House BDA.

The two parties looked at each other for a long moment. "You really ought to do something about that temper of yours Kholari" Dagron said. "I thought you was gonna pop a vein there." he continued amicably.

Kholari just stood and sputtered for a moment, then a slow smile spread across his face. "You're both fortunate that Nasher was here to tend your diapers" he said mockingly. "Watch out when he's not here any longer." he finished and turned and strode from the room himself.

"Hmmm" Nal replied thoughtfully. "Let's get cleaned up and go tend to the kiddies." she said, but as they left her eyes lingered on the door through which Kholari had disappeared.

The Kender Affair - Book One